i thought everything was alright..

was okay..but there he goes again..

i haf not sleep yet..itz now 4.20a.m

in da mornin..guess i'ma haf my last

sahur afta tiz..i mad wit my bf juz now..

i dunno..but im juz sick n tired of it..

i thot he noes me well, unfortunately

he still dun recognise his own gf..

how sad..till dat i sms him, text him

exactly how i feel..at 1st i agreed in

buying him dat kain samping for hari

raya..but afta seeing him like being

pampered, i feel like i can't continue

helping him.i can't be doin tiz everytime

u noe..whoz there to help me when im

da 1 in need? u?? even u're hoping on me..

alwayz think dat u're gonna pay back

when u got ur money..datz not da way B..

i text him, saying dat i dun like guyz to

borrow money from me..i hate it n i

really mean it! - As in my previous blog,

i said itz ok once in a while..but if

everytime, itz too much! im not

being stingy, juz thrifty..coz i noe

no1's gonna help me when im in need.

i learned how hard it is to suvive on

my own..maybe u haf ur ppl to depend

on..but not me..my family depend on me.

im sorry for if u dun understand dat..

Dun trouble me anymore pls..i haf my

planz of wat to do..but i view it 1st b4

i do it..juz to c if im able to suvive in it..

i dun mind for watever things u wanna

do or buy but at least think 4 urself..

not 4 me, not 4 anybody else..coz in

the end u're da 1 who seek for help.

-----------------------------------

N so.. he text me back....

i noe ppl might be tired of reading tiz..

even, im da 1 who type tiz is also

sick n tired of it..haiz..wat can i do..?

i can't judge him, i can only advise him..

dat be only once in a blue moon he listens..

aite..im gonna grab somthing to eat now..

then sleep..then fix up da house for raya..

Actually i can't wait for da day to come..a

good day to seek for forgiveness..n tiz is wat

i got..i was excited afta i had finished baking

my kuih's..but..by letting go in tiz blog, itz feels

like "im down like da economy.."hehe..datz wat

lil'wayne rap in his song..i'ma feel better now..

everythings gonna be alright! itz now 5.00a.m

_i hate myself 4 loving u_